Lately I’ve felt pretty overwhelmed. When I list out everything that is causing me anxiety, worry, or stress though, I feel like a bit of a whiney brat because so many of those things are awesome. We’re traveling, bought a new house, finishing up work projects, volunteering, etc. and while they’re all wonderful new changes, the happening all at once part is making me feel less than adequate. Back in college I remember learning about how any change, good or bad, causes stress and I’ve thought a lot about that lately. Even with all my great luck (or blessings if you’d like to call it that), I still feel a little “off” sometimes which then leads me to feel incredibly guilty for being ungrateful. This only leads to a downward spiral situation.
But I was driving the other day and saw the most beautiful cloud formations. I love clouds; they’re beautiful and grand and majestic and even sometimes a little moody. And even though they were covering up the sun and obscuring the beautiful sunlight, they were beyond lovely themselves. I thought about how when I lived in southern California I missed the clouds and the constant sun felt like a drain after awhile. I almost think that happiness can be the same way. Constant sunshine, like constant happiness, is not sustainable and we shouldn’t expect it to be. Sometimes there’s going to be clouds and we should not only accept it but embrace it as part of the human experience. As I’ve started picturing my anxieties and feelings as clouds, I’ve come to better realize that they’re fleeting. No feeling, good or bad, can last forever and there is beauty in experiencing the the spectrum. And I’ve come to realize that I’d much rather have a beautiful life than a perfect one, clouds and all.